CHAPTER 7 - TALKING TO BRIAN…MEL AND ABOUT BRIAN…BEN

THE LOFT – SUNDAY MORNING

BEDROOM

JUSTIN

We are in our favourite sleep position, spooning but this time, he’s inside of me raw.  I couldn’t believe what happened on Friday night…

Start of flashback

BEDROOM – BRIAN’S APOLOGY

JUSTIN

“Mmmmm.”  I purr as he sucks on one ball and then the other.

“Justin?” He looks up at me, between kissing and sucking my thighs. “Did you get your letter?”

“Uh yeah.  Oh!”

“Me too.”  He starts to kiss my stomach.  “What did yours say?  I’m good.”

I look down at him and tug on his hair to get him to look at me.  “I’m good too.  Why?”

He takes a breath and my heart hammers in my chest.  Surely not!!

“Do you want to?”

“You know I do.”

“Not sure how long it is going to last but…let’s do it.”

When he slid into me completely bare, I started to cry and immediately he stops. “What’s wrong?”

“No-nothing.” I hiccup and he kisses away my tears. “Oh God, you have to feel this!”  I moan.

Shit wrong thing to say!

“Justin.”  He breathes.  “Oh Justin, you feel so good!”

He starts to thrust and I lose the ability to speak until I scream the place down and the normally quiet Brian is roaring like a bull.

“Holy fucking God!”  He shouts and we collapse in a heap.

When we regain the ability to speak, he turns to me.  “That was a little hard and fast.  You okay?”

“Uh pretty perfect right now.”  I murmur.

“But messy.” He laughs and the kiss is so sweet and tender. “So do you think you could let me feel that now or should we have a shower and nap first?”

HAPPY DANCING!

“Definitely a shower.  And then I jump you.”  I giggle and then burst out laughing as he almost carries me to the bathroom.

End of flashback

“Don’t do that, I’m trying to last here.” He mutters into my neck and I stop clenching.  “Heaven. It’s just heaven.”  He groans and starts to move.

“Yes!”  I cry and he follows within seconds.  “Hey, no biting!”  I laugh.

An hour later, we’ve showered and are having breakfast when the buzzer goes. I really try not to look pissed off because of who I think it’s going to be.

“Yes?”  He answers brusquely.

“Daddy!  Let me in!”  Gus’s excited voice comes over the speaker.

“Gus?”  He looks at me and I run to the window to see who he’s with.

“It’s Mel!”  I whisper.

“I’ll be right down.”  He answers and shoots down the stairs.

What the hell is Mel doing here?  What fuck of a game is she playing now?

I pace a bit waiting for them to come up and as the door opens, a little bullet shoots in and clasps my knees.  “Jussin!”  He yells.  “How are you?”

“I’m fine Gus. How about you?” I pick him up and he clings to my neck. I look across at a stunned Brian.

“Hey Justin.  I brought cupcakes.”  Mel comes in and I look behind her.  “And it’s just us.”

“Uh…”

“Justin, could you show Gus what you’ve done with the place. I need to speak to Brian for a minute.”  Mel asks.

The look of horror of Brian’s face would be funny if it wasn’t Mel he was going to be alone with. They tend to ramp up the animosity to gargantuan levels if left to their own devices.  After a few long seconds, he finally nods.

“Come on Gus, let’s go downstairs.” I put him on the floor and turn back to them. “Shout if you need me, okay?  And by you, I mean Brian.”

“Understood.”  Mel gives me a very small smile.

MEL

I never in a million years thought I would be saying this but here goes...

“I’m sorry.” He looks shocked and steps back. “I mean it. I blamed you for things that, in hindsight, weren’t your fault and you, if you’re honest, took advantage of that…”  He nods.  “…I should’ve called out the right person on their bullshit and that wasn’t you.”

“Okay, seriously what is going on?  Are you sick?”  He looks wary and reaches for the stool.

“Nothing and no.”  I sit down opposite him.  “We’re never going to be best buddies. That’s just not us, but we have to find a way for us to get along between us.  And I mean us, nobody else. It has to be you, me and Justin because, judging by Friday, he’s going to be as big a part of Gus’s life as you are.”

“What?! Are you serious?!” Justin gasps as he comes up the stairs with Gus.

“Yes I am. Now I have to go and deal with Michael. If he wants you to be the godfather to JR, I won’t stand in his way…”

“What do you mean judging by Friday?”  Brian asks.

“Although you did storm out, you didn’t go too far. You let him explain without anybody else interfering first. Though you have to thank Ben for that…”

“Ben?”

“He told Michael to sit down when he was going to comfort you.” I roll my eyes. “You should’ve seen his face…”

I get up and grab the little bag I brought with me. “I packed his reading and word books. The word books need to be completed so he can take…”

“What’s happening with Lindsay?”  Justin asks.

I sigh and shake my head. “I don’t know.  But that is for us to deal with.  Can you do me a favour, please? If she comes to you, don’t give her anything. She has to learn from her mistakes and…”

“No problem, he won’t.”  Justin reassures me.

“Gus, I’m going now.  I’ll be back at…”

“Mel.  We will drop him home at…”  He looks at his watch.  “Three, would that work for you?”

“Yes.  See you later Gus.”

“Bye momma!” Gus grabs his bag and runs to the sofa and dumps it out. “Thank you for bringing me to daddy!”

“You’re welcome Gus!  Be good for daddy and Jussin, okay?”

“I will momma!”

As I close the door, I hear Gus begging to go to the park and have hotdogs for lunch!

BEN & MICHAEL’S HOUSE – AN HOUR LATER

LOUNGE

MICHAEL

I glare at Mel. “Do you have any idea how humiliating it was to have Ben talk to me like I was a badly behaved child?!”

“At the risk of sounding obvious, you did behave badly.  But now that I’ve calmed down, I’d like to speak to you and Ben about…oh where’s Ben?”

I roll my eyes and cross my arms. “Went for a walk. He’s still pissed at me. He thought I was trying to interfere with Brian and Justin on…”

Although I’m surprised that Ben is still brooding, I agree with him.  “Weren’t you?”

“No of course not!” I snap. “I was offering support to my best friend as best friends do.”

“Of course. In that case, I’ll be going. I’ll call you guys later then.”  She gets up and head to the door.

“Wait, can’t you tell me and I tell Ben?”  I ask.

“No, I’d rather speak to both of you together.  Speak to you later.”

“Oh, do you have your car with you?”  I ask, getting my coat to follow her out.

“I do. Why?”

“I’m going to go and see Brian.  So you can give me a lift?”

“I’m not going back that way.  See you Michael.”

“But can’t you…”

“No I can’t!”  She interrupts bluntly before getting in the car and leaving me standing on the driveway.

I go back inside to call for Ruth only to be told that she’s off this weekend. So I book another car, and an hour later, I step out and sigh. No fancy car and the same driver as last time.

“Mr Novotny. Where we headed?” He asks, not getting out of the car, just winding down the window.

I give him the address for Brian’s loft and look forward to talking to him about what Justin did.

When I get there, I send him away but Brian doesn’t answer my buzzing. I decide to try another neighbour, when I see the notice.

Visitors please note: only ring the buzzer of the person that you wish to visit.  You will not be granted access to this building by ringing someone else’s buzzer.  Thank you.

I scowl at that and try another neighbour anyway.

“Yes?”

“Hi.  I need to get into the building, I’ve forgotten my key.”

“Then buzz the Super.”

“But…”

“Dude, seriously, you don’t think I can see you’re Brian’s best friend from my window?”

“So you can see me and know who I am, then let me in!”

“No.  We have new rules and I’m all for abiding by them…bye now.”

MEL

I could’ve given him a lift but I just didn’t want to. Especially when he didn’t even ask, just assumed. As I drive home, my mind goes back to something Ruth said. Why were Michael and Lindsay meeting and why not mention it?

Out of the corner of my eye, I see some frantic waving. I pull over and wind the window down and Ems sticks his head in.

“Darling, where are you going?”  He grins at me.  “Do you have time for some tasting?”

“Absolutely!”  I decree.

TWIN LAKES, 30 MINUTES FROM HEAVENLY RETREATS

BEN

It is such a gorgeous day.  I was worried that I would catch a cold after Friday but so far so good. I pause in mid jog before starting again. It isn’t until I’ve been going for about five minutes that I hear the little grunts and look down. Running alongside me is the most adorable French Bulldog I have ever seen!

“Hey little guy.”  I hunker down and stroke his head and get my hand cleaned for that.

I look around but can’t see anybody who looks worried about me being with their dog.  I check his collar and on seeing the number, call it.

“Heavenly Retreats, Good Morning.”

“Uh hi, have you lost a French Bulldog?”

“Oh thank God! She was going spare!”  The man’s voice is filled with relief.  “Where are you?  I can send a car to pick him up.”

“I’m at Twin Lakes. I can meet the car by the entrance gate.  I’ll be the one with the dog.”

“Gotcha, he’ll be there in 15 minutes.  Thank you again!”

I head to the gate and he seemed to stop at every single bush. In the end, I picked him up and I have a feeling that’s what he wanted in the first place!

“Frick!” A guy yells and the dog almost vibrates in my arms. “You monster, you scared the shit out of us!”

“Frick as in Frick and Frack?”  I laugh.

“Yes. Unlike him, Frack understands the concept of keep your ass indoors.” He takes Frick off me and puts him in the car.  “Get in please, sir.  We’d like to thank you by giving you lunch.”

“Honestly, that’s not necessary.  I’m just happy he’s getting home safely.”

The guy looks at me and I find myself blushing. “Sir, please.”  And as if on cue, Frick barks and tries to scramble out of the car.  “If only to keep him in the car?”

“Fine.”  I get in and marvel at the beauty of the car.  “This is gorgeous.  But do you have a cloth?  I’m a bit sweaty.”

HEAVENLY RETREATS

RUTH

“Seriously, I am going to ground your brother!” I growl at Frack as we wait for Greg to come back.  “And smack the back of the head of mine!”

Greg has been told time and time again to keep the door shut to their den but of course, they have him wrapped round their paws. The car pulls up and when Ben gets out, I’m shocked.  I head to meet them and give Greg the quiet look.

“Ben?  You’re her hero.”

“Ruth?  Hi!  Sorry who’s hero?”

“Well two people; my friend who runs this place.  I’m house and dog sitting. And Frack, his sister.”

He looks around and smiles.  “It is gorgeous here.  Certainly lives up to its name.”

“Come on.  No offence sweetheart but you are going to have a shower.  Greg, can you show him the facilities please?”

“No problem, no problem at all.”

Forty minutes later, Ben joins me in the private apartment. Frick almost helicopters off the sofa when he sees him but Frack is a bit wary. She’s not used to someone that big, so she tries to burrow under the cushions but within minutes, she’s fighting Frick for space on his lap.

“So Twin Lakes a jogging ground for you?”

“No not really.  I just needed to get away from the city.”

I grab a bottle of wine and wave it at him and after a moment’s hesitation, he nods.  “How’d you like your steak?”

“Oh really that’s…medium rare.”  He laughs and I frown. “Fiercest don’t fuck with me look I have ever seen.”

“Want fries?  I can get the kitchen to do some?”

“Proper crispy ones with salt on already?”

“Of course.  Is there any other?”  I grin at him and call down for two portions.

I watch him slowly start to relax under the snuffling of Frick and Frack. “No residual effects from Friday?”

“No, thankfully. It was a bit stupid of me to walk out like that.  But I was so furious.”

“Why?”

He goes on to tell me what happened. “And that’s when I left. When Debs started to shout at me saying I should support Michael in him asking Brian to be the godfather… It’s always like that with the Novotnys but I maintain that it wasn’t his place…”

“You didn’t know beforehand?”

“No.”  He sighs.

“Sore spot?”

“Huh?”

“What are you upset about really? The fact that he’s the token godfather or the fact that Michael didn’t include you in the discussion?”

He gives it some thought. “Both. I really hoped that being married would reduce his influence on him but…”

“Sorry back up a bit, whose influence on whom?”

“Brian on Michael. There are times when Michael drops everything to go running to Brian whenever he calls and…”

“How do you know that?”

He looks up at me in surprise.  “Because he goes running.”

“No. I mean that Brian tells him to come? You only have one side of the conversation.”

“Because that’s what he tells me.”

“Again, one side of the conversation which is Michael’s. Tell me something, has there ever been an occasion when Brian has reacted to Michael in a negative way in front of you and you defended him?”

“Yes and no, I didn’t. It was drinks a couple of weeks back. He intentionally kept Justin away and Brian was pissed off. He just said he was having drinks with his best friend but when Brian saw me, he said that he could’ve brought Justin with him.”

“Think he loves him?”

“Oh very much so. Sometimes, I watch them when they think nobody’s looking and they will hold fingers, not hands, fingers.  They just have to be touching…”

Tilt head, paste on frown and stare.

“Justin, I mean Justin! Even if Brian does love Michael, he will never love him the way he loves Justin and more importantly the way he can love Justin. We can never do that…I’m HIV positive. I think that sometimes Michael resents the fact that despite everybody they have fucked, either alone or together, they are still clean.”

“Has he and Brian ever?”

“No. But Brian and I have.”

I gape at him.  “Really?!”  

“At a White Party, before I got sick. And yeah, he was really good!” He chuckles, earning a sleepy glare from Frack, who is resting on his chest.

“Does Michael…”

“Yeah but he’s over it now. We had a brief period of jealousy but we’re fine now.”

“Uh huh.”  I check the steak.

“What’s with the uh huh? And is there any more wine?”

I top up his glass and sit next to him. “Tell me something. If Michael wasn’t in the picture and you could have Brian or Justin, who would you pick?”

“Neither!  They’re my friends!”

“What do you think Michael’s answer would be?”

“Easy it would be Brian, even though Justin is the love of his life”

Seriously dude strap on a fucking pair!

“So why are you allowing yourself to be placed second in your marriage, especially to a guy who is paying his distant paramour no mind whatsoever from what you say?  You said it yourself when they are together and think nobody’s watching, they just want each other.  And from what I’ve seen, when I was taking them home on Friday for example, Brian is very protective of Justin. Sometimes I think that he can’t quite believe…”

“That Justin loves him?  Oh what an idiot, of course Justin loves him!”

The knock on the door signals the arrival of fries and we plate up.

“Christ this is good!” He demolishes the steak in minutes. I offer him the remains of mine and he takes it happily.  I pretend not to notice when he gives Frick and Frack a piece each.

“I have a friend who doesn’t believe her boyfriend loves her despite him telling her every day, but because she’s always been told…”

“How unloved and unlovable he is, he’s come to believe it and it just takes one thing to send him back to doubt.”

“Uh…”

“Christ, how didn’t I see that?!”

“What?”

“Button pushing.” He sighs. “Well while I’m around that shit is going to stop!”

I believe the ball strapping has commenced.  Judging by that last statement, Ben’s officially supporting Team B&J!

BEN & MICHAEL’S HOUSE – EARLY EVENING

MICHAEL

The lights coming up the driveway attract my attention and when Ben gets out of the car not wearing what he went out in, my temper increases.

I’ve had a very frustrating day. I couldn’t get in to see Brian and he wasn’t picking up his phone.  I couldn’t believe it when I called Lindsay and she told me that he was with Gus and Justin. She was also angry because Mel helped Emmett with recipe testing but didn’t bring any samples home for her.

Brian was 15 minutes late bringing Gus back but Mel didn’t blow up because it was Justin’s fault. Of course, Boy Wonder walks on fucking water! He gave Gus an ice cream and they just had to get him to run it off.

I open the door and am about to say something when Ben looks passed me.  “Hunter!  When the hell did you get here?!”

I watch as they embrace tightly and he checks him over. “Where have you been, Ben?  You seem to have changed your clothes.”  I snipe.

“That can wait. How long are you here for, son?”  He pulls him into the lounge.

“A couple of months.”

“So you didn’t know he was coming?”  I demand.

“No, I didn’t but I’m curious about something. Why do you sound like our son being home is a problem for you?”

“I would’ve liked to have been consulted.” I grumble.

“I knew it! You don’t want me here! I can feel it radiating off you!” Hunter yells and stands up.

“Hunter please calm down.” Ben’s voice is firm. “Regardless of what Michael says, this is your home so go and unpack and we’ll talk in the morning.”

“Where am I going to sleep?  I don’t have a room, remember?”

“Put your stuff upstairs and I’ll make up the sofa bed for you.”

As he heads upstairs without looking at me, Ben starts to sort out his bed. “Ben, where have you been?”

“Getting perspective.”  He replies and heads upstairs to get the blankets.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!